Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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