May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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