His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
