Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize