you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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