Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
