My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
