he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
