I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
