My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
