Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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