It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
