Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
