whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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