Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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