Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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