Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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