i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
