Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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