He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
