One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
