At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize