Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
