You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
