is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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