i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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