no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
