We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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