i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
