alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
