i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
