If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
