My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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