i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
