no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
