walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
