Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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