He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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