this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
