A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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