I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
