is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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