its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize