are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In other news, I just burned my penis
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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