I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
