so explain again why im purple
no
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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