What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
