Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i believe in u and ur pee
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
