Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What a dumb baby whore.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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