Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
