Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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