I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
