It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize