Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
