I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
