I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
