I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
