I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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