I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
